I am dissapointed, I feel as if everything is no more. I breathe yet, I no longer feel anything. In my heart there is nothing but cemetery powder. I see the dust of the graves slipping through my fingers.
It feels as if my whole existence is passing before me. Who has profound understanding? There were times when I thought I had acquired wisdom but now I see it clearly; the only thing I know is that I know nothing at all.
Their eyes, those bitter light-bulbs,...I sense how they want to spit acid on my countenance. I feel their pulsating animosity. I have definitely learned the ways of the jungle, the sounds of the urban bestial arteries. They will take and take, consume and consume until there is nothing but bare bones.
I see it clearly now. I have been too kind, too generous for too many aeons. I must re-program whatever is left of me in this physical shell, I must definitely listen to the symphony of cemetery dust. The music is actually silent and yes, I still smile when I see the silvery moon in the cloudy sky. All that there is to know is in that full moon, oh that majestic moon so impregnated with energy!!
Its craters sing like the pain of one thousand years, a pain too cruel to be perceived by the feeble ones, ...a beautiful inquisitional cruelty. All those irregular dark shapes sing to my mind, the whiteness of the silvery surface,...a kiss. Its luminosity, it reminds me of myself though I have never really been.
There is no poetry here, only Truth. As I meditate on my "so called life" I hear the sound of a frog-orchestra outside my place. They are like an army, their cries are like layers overlapping for the sake of mass hypnosis.
I can stop thinking about the sacred dust from the graves. And to think that I have eaten it! Yes, my esophagus has been blessed by the powder of the cemetery! I have no fear anymore, I have seen all that there is to see; I have seen everything. I'm no longer impressed at this time, I even avoid uttering words! Talk? For what and for who's benefit? To accomplish what end?
Kindness wasted on ingrates, oh yes! How they have delighted in betraying me! I thirst for the ultimate liberation. Mortality has become...death is the perfect kiss, a soft kiss. A very sweet kiss indeed. I must go beyond the gates, this I know. My eyes have perceived glimpses of silver on other planes, I have interacted with them. This dimmension no longer feels like a home anymore, in fact,...it feels like a box.
I am a shattered mirror, irregular cracks on my soul,...the nerve on my left eye, it jumps as if laughing at me! The cracks on the mirror are like an unpredictable abstract painting, no one knows....who cares? The answer is "NO ONE". It's ok. Oh but that dust that I had in my hands! That dust will not sell me out, it loves me, it speaks to me in tongues. Oh death! How I long to drink from thy nectar! The milk of thy silvery breast is my dream! Her saliva tastes like extraterrestrial honey, I definitely want it.
No emotions. Death, she knows my name. She knows everything about me and yeah, she does care. She is approaching, I don't know how I know it but I know it. I perceive her arrival, I await! Oh yes how I await! I await with a smile on my lips. My hands are as clean as my soul. I have no fear at all. I just evoke her beauty and wait. I know she will not betray me.
(a poem by Mr Nizin Lopez)